Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in Eric L. Dykstra's LiveJournal:

Friday, September 1st, 2000
2:17 pm	it's been a long time. I haven't written in here in a long time. Any other time in my life and i wouldn't really have anything to say; however this isn't one of those times. Krysten is a huge part of my life. In many ways. I had a panic attack today, school moslty and all i wanted to do was talk to her. I couldn't get in touch with her and it made me sad. Do i depend on her too much? I dunno. ALl i do know is that she thinks i don't aprishiate her enough. Maybe i don't know how,without it looking forced. I really do think she is amazing... school is a pain in the arse...it's all my fault though. If i would've signed up last semester it wouldn't be any trouble at all...but nooooo i have to be a jerk about it. I dunno what to do. Scrap the whole semester and make some money? Can i last five months without health insurence? i dunno...unless i get sick i would be Ok. i just wish i dad thought this out a little better. I hate when i feel like this. ~eriC (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 9th, 2000
1:16 pm	virtue here i stand....well sit at the moment. Waiting wondering. My mind keeps going back to Krysten. She's confused...I'm hopeful. Just wait, that's all I can do. ~eriC (Comment on this)
Monday, July 31st, 2000
3:03 am	stuff I can't say that i know exactly what I am feeling at the moment. I can only pass along the symptoms, I can't sleep...and the old thoughts are seeping back into my head. The dark ones that i thought had gone. I think I am just lonely, but it feels more like i am alone. It's 3 am and i wish i was detached from what makes me self aware. I miss Krysten, the development of our "thing" has hit a snag. Namely her pre-existing feelings for Dan. Nothing that i can blame her for...just something that is. I just wish she could tell me it's all gonna be ok but i know she can't. A heart is a fickle thing and there is the possibility that when all is said in done i won't be "him" for her. Not something I want to think about...but i've never been good at avoiding unpleasent things that are best left in the dusty un-examined corners of ones mind. I am used to relying on the intuition that i belive i have. It tells me nothing, I have no feeling for where this is going. It leaves me in this uncomfortable limbo waiting waiting waiting....for what i don't know...though i guess i'll know it when it comes...if it comes. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 25th, 2000
12:25 pm	third events, things happening. She has now established in my life. A fact i am glad for. There's a sence of wonder and exitement i have been missing for a long time. I find myself missing her more and more. My thoughts wandering wandering wandering to her. She says that she's glad for this nameless thing we've got going. I couldn't agree more. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 21st, 2000
1:24 pm	second again, waking up way too late recovering from another wonderful night talking to Krysten. As i read her latest journal entry i see that she didn't have quite the same sleeping experience i did. Early morning visitor? Candise? It seems like so many people rely on her for stability, I feel the need to be the stability for the stable. I do want to tell her everything will be ok, despite not knowing at all. Am i lying? I don't think so...just telling her what i hope it will be like. I've spent my life beliving that my future isn't set in stone, on a time line my future resembles a infinite maze, like a root system branching at every choice i make. One of these choices led me to her. I'll be damned if i don't treat every moment i have with her like the precious gift it is. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 4th, 2000
3:43 pm	first Welocome to the perversly boring life of me. What did I do today? I slept, recovering from another marathon conversation with Krysten. It was a good one though. With each I want to learn about her more. I feel like i forced the subject of dan, dan is...a dan. As she was telling me about him there was a voice in the back of my mind screaming CHOOSE ME! Alas nothing is certain at this point. I all i can hold onto is hope that all goes as well as i would like...or a loose aproximation:-) (3 Comments |Comment on this)